[all hail frank and everything he has to say]
Michigan D̠̣ͅi̸̥̮͉͕s̨͖̜͕̹trict Championships will be run a bit differently than other places.We made some meanings cl͓̦̘̗͙̕e͙͔͉͘a̳̣̻͢rer (like, intentional
damage to litter is against the rules, accidentally is OK).
Can’t wait for our first eve̫̹̱n̙͙͚͘ț͈͖͚̼̳̗͠s next week! (We enjoy to see you̥̪̞̟͓͚ struggle ^u^)
7.4 Teams Competing At District Events
“So, I was thinking,” Speedy said as she and her partner walked along the landfill zone. “Remember that time we got murdered by Gandalf, only to discover
that it had never actually happened?”
Straws blinked. “What– oh, yeah… what about it?”
“Well, was Gandalf ever really there?”
“Um… no? Yes? Maybe?”
Speedy bit bit her lip. “See, if he was never there, then he doesn’t actually exist. But what if he was there?”
Straws slowed down. “He would be a supporting character,” she concluded.
“So you see where I’m going with this, then,” Speedy prompted.
“It’s a good question,” Straws nodded, leaning against the tote stack next to her and nodding thoughtfully. Suddenly, the whole structure groaned and
toppled onto the opposite side of the field. The second the first tote hit the ground, a burst of brightly colored confetti filled the air.
~~~~~~UH OH! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A FOUL!!!!!~~~~~~
“Straws, it’s [unknown pronoun]” Speedy whispered. “The Confentity.”
Straws picked herself up off the floor and turned very pale.
~~~~~~~BUT NOT J̧͕͓͈̪̤̰͖̘̳̝̞͎̮͢Ụ̩͎̞̀͟ST ONE̶ͪ̒͂͌̒ͦ͠ FO̿̀́̒ͪ̅҉UL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What do you mean, not just one?” Straws demanded, sitting up and rubbing her arm.
~~~~THE VIOLATION OF G24 IŞ̀͡͝ ̴̶͞A̡͜ ̢ FOUL FOR E̢A̷͢͜C̴H ITEM~~~~
~~~~~THAT ̸̴̸͞ ̸̡̧͟H̶͞ITS THE O͔͕͔̫̣̗P̭͇̥͎͈̥POSITE SIDE OF THE FIELD!!!!~~~~~~
~~~~~HAHAHAHAHAH̵̬͙̰͍͚̱̱͞AHH̴̸̡̠̜̘̞̮̞̣̦̙͕͘A̢̢̫̩̗͔̪̹̟͔͜ AHAH̴̛͓̙̩͉͈̦͓̮̥͇̥̩̟̳̝̩͟͝AHĄ̴̸̮̝̲̭̞͖͍̜̪͈͞H͔̬̣̥̝̥̯͇̖͔̠̯͈͇̲͞͝ͅĄ̵͏̩̻͓Ḥ̢̥̲̼̣͡Á̡̧̪̭͍̳͖͡͝ HAHAHAHAH̳̳̺̪̱̝̪A҉̧̰̗̥̘͎̥̟H̫̲̳̩͠A̶̜͈͔̜̗̕͞HAH̡͍̫̞̹̜̲̀͠ ̬̜̺A͈̭̲̳̗͍͍̼̠͎̟̳̟͘͞H͘͏̥̞̤͍́ ̭̣̥̰͉̻AHAHAHAHAH̥̺͚Ą̷̦̹̯͓͟HAHAHAHAHA~~~~~
Speedy looked on in horror as Straws was hit by burst after burst of confetti, one for each tote which had been knocked over. By the time it was all over,
a mountain of multicolored crepe paper was left standing where moments ago her partner had been.
The man had dropped an empty can of soda as he walked to his car.
The man jumped in surprise. Two police officers had sprung up from a bush, scaring him half to death.
The officer with the nametag “Straws” (and who had some bendy straws tucked in her pockets for good measure) shined a flashlight in his eyes.
“You dropped that.”
“Uh, what?” The man tried to shield his eyes from the light.
“You. Dropped. That.” She pointed to the piece of litter as her partner pulled out a pair of handcuffs.
“What’s the big deal?”
( damaged) litter counts as a point against Mother Nature as long as two of the three 2-inch red/blue tape rings in place it’s on the ground.”
“Wait- what were those other words?” he asked, it sounded like something forced with some mumbling in between every few words.
“Doesn’t matter, the only you’ll need to know are, ‘I plead the fifth.’”
So, a tote walks into a human player station. The investigators each look down, and wonder since when plastic boxes were capable of walking, or even had
legs, for that matter.
Straws leaned down to pick it up, unaware that Speedy had the same impulse. Both investigators touched the tote at the same time. A burst of brightly
colored confetti filled the air.
~~~~~~~~UH OH! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A FOUL!!!!~~~~~~~
Cold dread filled their hearts. They’d unwittingly violated G5, the rule preventing two players from being in contact with a human player station element
“But wait!” Speedy yelled, holding up her hands. “Totes, even when in the Human Player Zone, are not elements of the Human Player Station, and thus are exempt from G5!!!”
Silence. Another, smaller, almost hesitant burst of confetti filled the air.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OH … ARE YOU SURE?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“YES!” the officers yelled in unison.
~~~~~~~BUT… BUT I BROUGHT ALL THIS CONFETTI…~~~~~~
A few half-hearted puffs of confetti appeared, falling pitifully to the floor. Unwanted. Unloved.
~~~WELL I SUPPOSE I SHOULD JUST… GO HOME, THEN. . . ~~~
~~~~~UNLESS YOU’D LIKE SOME CONFETTI, ANYWAY?~~~~~~~
The voice sounded hopeful, and another burst of confetti appeared, scattering a few more brightly colored party particles over the floor.
The investigators quickly shook their heads. “No, thank you. No confetti. Please, dear lord Department of Redundancy Department, no more confetti.”
~~~~~~~OH. WELL, OKAY THEN… BYE, I GUESS…~~~~~~~~~
“I almost feel bad for [insert pronoun],” Speedy said after the voice had faded.
“I don’t.” Straws shuddered. “You don’t know the pain of breathing in confe–” Her words were cut off by a violent fit of coughing. A few stray pieces of
confetti floated to the floor.
Speedy paled. “Yup, don’t feel bad anymore.”
Motors and Actuators
The officers had waited all week for this epic, [insert more adjectives here] movie to come out. The ads had been great, there were positive reviews
online, so everyone was excited
They waited through ticket and snack lines before finally the officers had found their seats.
A series of ads about movies they had no intention of seeing the feature film finally started.
Five minutes in, some confusion had arisen. So far only a chart had been on screen.
Did the producers really expect the audience to enjoy this? Sitting there for 90 minutes, with nothing but their thoughts, a chart on legal motors, and
overpriced movie popcorn?
But Straws, Speedy, and everyone else in the theater sat through the whole thing.
They couldn’t say they hadn’t learned anything from it. The officers,the children, the teenagers, and all the adults in the theater now knew something new:
the highlighted part of that table.