Team Intrepid Investigative Duo Update Schedule

Lately the Intrepid Investigative Duo had been in the midst of some very fluctuating weather. It had just become too cold. So they decided it was vacation
time. Since vacations in lovely, warm places are for relaxing, updates will now only come on Tuesdays. 🙁

C++\Java Library Updates

Hello, Bob.

Bob jumped, dropping the two cups of coffee he’d been carrying.

I hope I’m not interrupting. It’s just that I wanted to tell you about the totally optional software update that’s been released.

Bob sighed and rubbed his temples. Here we go again, he thought to himself. “Riiiight… optional, you say? Optional as in compulsory?”

Of course. But only if by compulsory, you mean not compulsory at all.

“Sure. If by not compulsory at all, you mean very compulsory indeed, just like the last umpteen times you–”

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Unnerved by the vague allusion to certain mask-wearing permanently scarred Jedi-turned-Sith with dark color schemes, Bob tugged at the collar of his shirt.

“Great,” he said shakily. “Optional. Got it.”

Authors’ note: The software update, which fixes certain issues with CAN devices and several minor things, can be found here ⇒


Alliance Stations

The officers were hosting a robot racing competition in the hallways of their department.

All the contestants were crowded together behind some white gaffer’s tape (that stretched the width of the hall), eager to send their robots flying down
the hallway into the wall. The first one to crash would be the winner.

“5! 4! 3! 2! 1!” Straws stood behind the kids, when a door further along the hallway was opened violently.

A tall figure dressed in gray and a pointy hat dramatically blocked the hallway. He slammed his staff into the ground and shouted, “YOU. SHALL. NOT.

Yet another door opened, the door between Straws and Gandalf opened and Charles the Co-Worker stepped out.

“Hey guys, how’s it goi-”

In a totally unexpected turn that no one was expecting (ⓒ Redundant Department of Redundancy) Charles was run down by a robot. It was not pretty. It was a
tragic incidence, for like, 5 whole minutes. Then everyone moved on.

Speedy examined the body. “Hmm. You know we could just continue the race if the white gaffer’s tape (the starting line) body is 2 feet 4 inches away from
the alliance station kids.”

After moving the corpse they were ready to start

“COUGHCOUGHCOUGH,” Gandalf reminded them of his presence. He raised his staff again, “As I was saying, YOU SHALL NOT-”

With that the ceiling collapsed crushing the poor, poor wizard.

Or maybe it was a bus. Who can tell the difference. Either way he was dead, dead, dead.


“Next,” the clerk called, sounding decidedly bored.

Speedy walked up to the cash register and handed the woman a box of TikTaks (not to be confused with TicTacs, which shall not be included in this narrative
because product placement is a cheap trick for weak-minded fools).

“That’ll be $39.99,” the clerk droned.

“Just a sec,” Speedy said, rummaging through her trench coat’s many pockets. After much ado, she managed to produce a single charred-to-a-crisp flake of
what may once have been a dollar bill. The clerk gave her a highly unimpressed look.

“I’m sorry,” she said (not sounding like she was very sorry at all), “but damaged dollar bills totes only count for scoring purposes as long as they remain
largely intact and have lids still in place and closed.”

“This is totally intact,” the investigator protested. Even as she spoke, the money disintegrated and floated away on the breeze. The clerk raised an

“I didn’t really want those TikTaks anyway,” Speedy mumbled to herself, pocketing the candy and shuffling away.

Shoplifting is okay as long as you get away with it.
“I don’t know”
~CIO/Acting Ensign CIO